Friday, May 30, 2008

Anticipating appointment viewage…

This week has been a beating and a half.

Mercy.

Anyhoo, this bitch is eagerly anticipating the big tension filled event on my calendar this weekend. Mmmhmmm, I can’t wait to watch! A room filled with drama-based stress, competitors who have labored hard to get to this one moment in time (cue Whitney Houston!) and a ton of supporters prepared to throw down and whoop some serious ass if their chosen person doesn’t prevail.

My goodness, if that’s not worth appointment viewage my name isn’t Shark-Fu!

It makes a bitch wish the Scripps National Spelling Bee happened more than once a year.

Sigh.

Oh, and tomorrow there’s something on my calendar about a DNC Rules and Bylaws Committee meeting.

Oh I’ll be watching that too, but there’s no way the carefully choreographed outrage I predict out of that shit could compare to the sincere drama of a spelling bee…

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

ABB’s McClellan Book Fall-Out Minion Watch…

Y’all know that scene from The Matrix when Neo wakes up in the real world and realizes that he’s been living a simulation all of his life?

Yeah, that’s what I thought of when I watched news breaks that Scott McClellan’s book breaks ranks…BIG TIME…with Bushology.

But then I remembered that I like Neo, I was rooting for Neo in The Matrix and Scott McClellan is no Neo (wink).

He’s more like Raymond Shaw in the original Manchurian Candidate….unlikable, arrogant without justification and a general asshole who just happens to be under the spell of Angela Lansbury…umm, I mean post WWII Communists planning to take over the United States government.

So, Scott has written a book that apparently goes off on Bush and his minions.

Oh my!

Since there is no way in hell this bitch can buy Scott’s book (it goes against my religious convictions to support trifling minions trying to make a buck after fucking over the country by remaining silent since Texas out in the name of loyalty), this bitch is going to have to enjoy the fall out from a distance.

ABB’s McClellan Book Fall-Out Minion Watch…
Dan Bartlett
– CNN is reporting that former White House counselor Dan Bartlett lashed out, saying allegations that the media wasn’t tough enough on the White House are "total crap.”

Blink.

Bartlett added that insiders are “bewildered” and “puzzled” by allegations made in the book (now they know how a bitch felt watching Scott McClellan’s briefings).

The Bartlett added that insiders fell that McClellan has violated the trust of the President. "Part of the role of being a trust adviser is to honor that trust," said Bartlett. "It's not your place now to go out" and criticize the President like this.

I thought the role of a trusted advisor was to advise…or maybe that would have been too much like right.

Blink.

Dana Perino – CNN reports that the current White House spokeswoman Dana Perino called McClellan's description of his time at the White House "sad."

"Scott, we now know, is disgruntled about his experience at the White House,""For those of us who fully supported him, before, during and after he was press secretary, we are puzzled. It is sad. This is not the Scott we knew."

ABB’s Current Interpretation of this Shit…
Mmmhmmm, they are soooo going to try to paint him as crazy!

In defense of Oprah!

A bitch can hardly believe I’m writing this shit.

I’m not a huge Oprah fan, mostly because I can’t stand to watch public displays of star fucking and I disagree with the emphasis on people giving money when the one thing we all have to give is time.

Having said that…cough…it is a wee bit of a stretch to associate the decline in Oprah’s impressive market share with her support of Obama.

Maybe…just maybe…if the economy weren’t in the toilet and almost all print publications weren't struggling to keep head above water…maybe then you could make the case that a drop in O Magazine circulation is due to her Obama support.

Personally, I think the drop has more to do with a lack of engaging content but I doubt that would make headlines.

Blink.

And maybe…just maybe…if Oprah’s television show hasn’t been dominated by guru adoration or star fucktitude celebrity-based mutual love fests despite the fact that her best years were spent tackling real issues from an emotional angle…maybe then folks could make the case that a her ratings are suffering because of her public political views.

Perhaps, if she weren’t associated with a not all that exciting reality television show (wince) and The Secret (ugh)…mayhap then one could conclude that negative perceptions are due exclusively to her endorsement of Obama.

But a bitch suspects that Oprah’s empire is safe from a massive Obama related decline (just look at the fact that her ratings decline is three years deep)…

…and more vulnerable to the non-political whims of the Head Sistah in Charge.

Monday, May 26, 2008

And the whole world is watching...

Let’s jump right on it, shall we?

One of the greatest challenges I have faced while writing this blog is finding balance and keeping shit real.

I often fall victim to calling the right out for shit that I give some asshole of the left the benefit of the doubt on…but trust that a bitch has learned the error of my ways during the Democratic primary season.

When I heard Senator Clinton’s comments regarding why she is staying in the race citing the timing of RFK’s assassination I was disturbed. My initial reaction was that her RFK reference was in poor taste and historically inaccurate. My next reaction was that it was irresponsible - the lesson of the RFK assassination is that there are people who would do harm to those who run for office.

Do I think Senator Clinton was calling for the assassination of…oh, I can’t even write that shit.

No, I don’t.

Do I think the use of that reference, much like Bill O’Reilly’s comments about when it would be okay to lynch Michelle Obama, was dangerous and irresponsible?

Yes.

My concern was quickly validated when Liz Trotta, while discussing Clinton’s comments, casually endorsed the assassination of Senator Obama even as she pulled a FOX and accidentally on purpose misspoke Obama’s name as Osama while appearing on FOX television.

Sigh.

That has been the sorry ass pattern of this shit.

Clinton supporter Bob Kerrey verbalizes rumors about Obama having attended a madrassa in his youth (a false statement that had been fully debunked) and conservative blogs explode with declaring Obama to be a covert Muslim with a secret agenda to destroy America.

“See! Even Democrats are saying it!!”

Bill Shaheen attempts to cast Senator Obama’s candor over drug experimentation in his youth as covering up some sort of drug dealing past (because black man = drug dealer, right?) and conservative blogs erupt with racially offensive drug dealing stereotype laden attacks on Obama’s character.

“See! Even Democrats believe it!”

Geraldine Ferarro asserts that Obama’s political success is due exclusively to his luck at being born a black man ('cause life is just a 24/7 party for black people in America, right?) and I get anonymous comments with links to her quotes from freaks who just want to make sure I know that even white Democrats don’t want a "n**ger president".

“See! Even Democrats feel that way!!”

And Senator Clinton pitches her success with “working, hard-working Americans, white Americans” with perfect marketing-based timing for the asshole selling those nifty Obama ’08 t-shirts featuring a monkey peeling a banana (and some of y’all disputed a bitch when I went there over King Kong…I’m just saying…shit).

The fact that these people have found common cause in the spin coming out of Clinton’s campaign is disturbing as hell.

Isn’t it?

Or maybe the jokes on me…again.

Mercy.

Right now I’m marveling over just how gosh darn “lucky” Obama is to have been depicted as a monkey on a t-shirt, accused of covering up a non-existent drug dealing past, assumed to be a terrorist because of his name, subject to having that asshole at FOX casually discuss lynching his wife and then threatened with assassination by Liz fucking Trotta on national television.

Wince.

Y'all be sure to smile, now.

The whole world is watching…

A Memorial Day memory…

When this bitch was a wee bitch I used to spend every Memorial Day curled up on the family room floor watching war flicks with my father. It was an unstated ritual of the holiday…hot dawgs and beer for Dad, hot dawgs and grape soda pop for a bitch and hours of WWII films and documentaries on the telly.

One Memorial Day in particular we watched several films about Vietnam. I remember that my father hesitated when the first film was introduced and then sat back in his chair as if he were resigned to some unavoidable unpleasant experience.

The Deer Hunter…I’m pretty sure it was The Deer Hunter…began to play and there was a tension in the room. We were both silent and the house joined us, the rest of the family having taking advantage of a rare opportunity to sleep in.

The film finished without either one of us saying a word, but my curiosity was not to be denied so I turned to my father to ask him if he had been in the Vietnam War.

But something in his eyes caused me to swallow my questions.

“Hush now.” He quietly said and then closed his eyes. And I was silent as my father paused to remember.

I later found out that my father had not been in Vietnam but had lost friends to that conflict and I wondered what was it like to have friends go to war and what was it like when they didn’t come back.

Then I thought of my father and of the emotions I had seen play across his face…and I knew that he would never be able to explain that to me anymore than he was able to explain war to me. More than the characters on the screen or the plot of a film, Vietnam was real to my parents in a way that defied explanation.

Years later I though of that when I visited the Vietnam War Memorial and watched a man stand before that wall of stone bearing the names of the fallen…watched him reach out a trembling hand to touch his lips and then place that hand over a name on the wall.

A friend.

A sibling.

A parent.

A soldier.

A life and all that is contained within that single word.

Hush now.

And remember.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Why so gentle?

A bitch caught up on some television viewage this morning (bless you TiVo!!) and …well, the coverage of McCain’s pastor drama made me long to seriously whoop some media-based ass.

Blink.

For the love of all that should be balanced, why the fuck is Senator McCain’s double trouble case of Evangelicals behaving badly being treated to such gentle, almost soothing, coverage?

Where for art thou all those video montage segments with the creepy fear inspiring Unsolved Mysteries-esque voice-over featuring non-stop loops of Reverend Hagee preaching about Hitler being sent by God and the Holocaust being the will of God (shudder)?

And what happened to using the taped words of Pastor Rod Parsley as a springboard into a discussion of Evangelical theology and whether Evangelical preachers are teaching hatred and fear of all Muslims from the pulpit…or what the impact of Parsley’s ig’nant absolute statements will be…or whether McCain’s reluctance to denounce him immediately has something to do with Parsley being his spiritual advisor...yeah, all that shit?

How about opening up the Today Show with Parsley on tape indicting all Muslim’s as terrorists (mercy) followed a Matt Lauer on the tall stool interview with self identified Evangelicals where they get asked why they remain loyal to a denomination that preaches hate from the pulpit and how American voters could possibly feel comfortable with the Republican nominee after learning that he actively…with passion, dedication and stalker-esque discipline…sought the endorsement of John 'Catholics are bad but Hitler was a servant of God' Hagee and considers Rod 'bring on the Crusades Part II, baby' Parsley a spiritual advisor/moral compass?

Hmmm?

***cue crickets***

Shit.

Now where did I put my Rod of Merciless Correction?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Remembering Zelma Henderson...

Zelma Henderson, the last surviving Topeka plaintiff from the Brown v. Board of Education case, has died.

In remembering her, we should remember why she joined the struggle and signed on to the case.

"I wanted my children to know all races like I did," she said "It means a lot to a person's outlook on life. No inferiority complex at all, that's what I wanted for my children as far as race was concerned.” (As reported by The Associated Press in 2004)

Zelma Henderson was 88 years old.

Pondering the shit not being addressed whilst folks pretend to debate isms…

A bitch watched the primary coverage yesterday for a wee bit and then I had to turn that shit off.
I’ve found myself getting drawn into debates over campaign bullshit and distracted from the real issues that are at play in this election year.

So, I took a break last night and my ass is glad for it because I woke up this morning to several e-mails asking this bitch whether I thought sexism or racism have had a greater impact on the Democratic side of things.

Blink.
Shit.

Sexism has been a factor in the primary race?
Of course it has.
This is America and you can drop a period and end that sentence after 'factor'. I’m not disturbed by pundits pondering whether the political press has indulged in a sexism gorge fest…my ass is disturbed that anyone who regularly watches these people could work up shock over the sexism gorge fest taking place.

I’m a woman (and by the way, someone needs to tell these same assholes that ‘woman’ comes in multiple shapes, colors, backgrounds and orientations) and my ass is deeply involved in politics. Sexism is a factor…in print, on television, on the fucking radio and in the minds of voters.

So a bitch wasn’t shocked.

I was disappointed…

…and more than a little rattled at the overt and unapologetic nature of the beast.

Cough.

Racism has been, is and will remain a factor in American political life. I will admit that my dreamy eyed optimistic hope that racism wouldn’t be used as a political tool during the Democratic Primary season was…well, dreamy eyed and overly optimistic.

My bad (wince).

But a bitch wasn’t shocked.

I was, once again, disappointed…

…and more than a little rattled at the overt and unapologetic nature of the beast.

Pause…sip ice water…continue.

The difference between this bitch and some pundits and supporters is that my ass couldn’t fix my face to deny that sexism has played a role in this shit if the reward was a life free of bullshit. But some would deny that racism has been in play. Others still seek to engage in an 'oppression off' and debate whether racism is more harmful that sexism or sexism is more harmful than racism or your momma said my momma said blah followed by blah followed by Jesus bullshit sure...does...stink.

Well, this bitch ain’t playing that tired ass insulting and bound to get you nowhere fast game.

I am a woman of color and my angry black self is subject to both and the beneficiary of neither.

This election matters in a lot of ways but one key way is that it presents the Democratic Party and candidates to the American people. Breaking news, y'all – most Americans aren’t into party politics. Oh, they may vote…but that doesn’t mean that they define themselves by party affiliation. And those that don’t vote often cite party–based drama as a reason for not voting.

So here y'all are baiting and insulting and pandering your way to the convention where some are threatening to bait, insult and pander their way to the nomination…bare-assed and naked as the day you were born and demonstrating no home training for all the world to see.

Sigh.

But this election matters and I can't afford for that to get lost in the bullshit.
My community needs change...in our education policy, funding for programs that assist the mentally disabled, housing, health care, std prevention and comprehensive sex education, job creation, investment in industries that create jobs and so much more.

This is not a game to me or an opportunity to increase the number of visitors to this blog.

This is the shit…the show, for the love of all that matters.

Let’s all try to keep that in mind while others attempt to stir shit through June 3rd.

Don’t get me wrong…a bitch thinks a serious discussion of racism and sexism is long overdue. I am not a fan of the school of tolerance.
But the second someone says in reference to this election cycle that sexism was in play but racism wasn’t, trust that a serious discussion of anything is not about to follow.

Stray Rescue!

Oh my Gawd!

Stray Rescue of St. Louis has won a $1 million shelter makeover.

Blink.

Stray Rescue beat out two other finalists in the national contest sponsored by zootoo.com.

As some of y’all know, my dawg niece Sweetie is a Stray Rescue alum. Sweetie was rescued from North St. Louis. She had been shot in her front leg and left for dead. Stray Rescue saved her life and now she is our three legged Chow-based darling!

Having adopted Betsey the sorta-beagle from the city pound in Dallas and Theo the Master of the Bay from the streets, I know the amazing feeling of saving a life and I know the joy of having pet companions to share my life with.

Randy Grim and all the folks at Stray Rescue are a blessing in our city.

Congrats and keep up the good work!

And if you are looking for a pet companion check out the adorable adoptable fantabulous dawgs and cats available for adoption through Stray Rescue of St. Louis.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Sending best wishes to Senator Kennedy!

Senator Edward Kennedy has been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor.

Kennedy has represented Massachusetts in the Senate since 1962. That means he has been on the job longer than this bitch has been alive. He is one of six senators in American history to serve more than 40 years and something tells this bitch Senator Kennedy isn’t done serving yet.

I think Senator Dick Durbin (D-Illinois) had a great response… "Ted Kennedy has spent his life caring for those in need. Now it's time for those who love Ted and his family to care for them and join in prayer to give them strength."

Monday, May 19, 2008

By request, my thoughts on the Morehouse Valedictorian story…

Okay, this bitch didn’t attend a historically black college or university but this story still jumped out at me.

As someone who has always been one of the few POC in every school environment through college…blink…I found the story of a white student's experience at Morehouse very interesting.

And let me be clear, I’m not bothered that the story of Morehouse graduating its first white Valedictorian made the news.

What bothers me is that I’m a news junkie and I can’t remember CNN ever covering the Valedictorian of a HBCU before.

Mayhap an exploration of that should be added to the Black in America segment line-up.

Blink.

Shopping…

Happy Monday!

A bitch went shopping this weekend.

Blink.

That’s a huge statement coming from this bitch!

I hate to shop for anything other than food, books or funktified Afro adornments so seeing me hit the shops is a rare sight indeed.

Anyhoo, a bitch needed some new lipstick and a pair of comfy sandals for the summer season soon to come. That meant a trip to the MAC Store (happy, happy, happy followed by joy times three!!) and…ummm, I had no fucking idea where else to go.

Shit.

Oh, I know where to go to get the same shoes I wore to the ground last year. But for some reason I decided I needed to shop around and make sure my feet weren't missing out on the shoe experience of a lifetime. Since C-Money got my shopping gene, I asked her where a bitch could find a large selection of comfy shoes and, of course, she insisted on joining me.

Off to the MAC Store we went!

Ah, there’s nothing like a new signature shade to pick a bitch’s mood up. Underworld has been replaced by Media! Oh, and a tube of Film Noir too for contrast.

Fantabulous!

Following our MAC-based indulgence we hit several shops where I did my best to try to find some new style of shoe that would destroy my reputation for buying the same shit year after year.

Alas a bitch ended up settling on a new pair of comfy sandals that look like the cousins of the pair I wore into the ground last year.

Sigh.

Fuck it.

My feet are happy (wink).

Friday, May 16, 2008

A victory for choice in Missouri!

From Planned Parenthood Affiliates in Missouri
You've reached out to Governor Matt Blunt and the anti-choice extremists in Jefferson City. You have signed petitions, organized, tabled, and gone to Jefferson City to lobby legislators – you have done critically important work in protecting women's health.

Today, your work paid off. You helped to defeat the Abortion Restriction Act of 2008!

Every year for the past 5 years, the Missouri Legislature has passed restrictive bills or eliminated programs that could have reduced the need for abortion services through family planning and sex education. This year, you defeated their sixth attempt.

Not only did you fight and win against the Abortion Restriction bill of 2008, but you also laid to rest this year's effort by David Reardon to put a dangerous, anti-choice ballot initiative on the ballot in November!

On behalf of the thousands of Missouri women, men, and teens who rely on Planned Parenthood's services, thank you! Soon, we will update you on where your legislators stood on reproductive rights this session, but for now, rest assured that your work has paid off.

Thank you for continuing to stand up for choice!
And thank you to the folks at Planned Parenthood who work tirelessly to protect and defend choice in Missouri!

A victory for Missouri voters!

Woo hoo!

The proposed photo id legislation has failed to pass in Missouri!

Oh, hell yes!

Missouri lawmakers ended this year’s session without passage of photo id legislation that would have prevented up to 240,000 Missourians from voting.

Congrats to everyone who worked hard and voiced their opposition to this mess.

Today is a good day.

Now, get out there and vote!

Message sent…

A bitch would like to send a tip of the Afro to the several hundred graduates and members of the Wash. U. faculty who turned their back on Phyllis Schlafly in silent protest to her being awarded an honorary degree from Washington University in St. Louis.

And a special “Go on with your bad self!!” goes out to those faculty members who left the stage (daaaaaaaaamn!) to join graduates and turn their back on that heinous woman.
Be proud y’all! You made sure your voice was heard and that is a very powerful thing.

And it also means you’ve earned an honorary degree in keeping shit real!
Fantabulous.

Go on with your bad self California!

A bitch has been scrambling to read all the articles about the California Supreme Court ruling overturning that state’s ban on same-sex marriage.

Congrats to all the legal minds and activists who worked on this case!

Regarding the three invitations to attend California-based weddings that a bitch received via e-mail today, trust that my ass shall seriously consider them.

I may not personally know any of you...blink...but a bitch could probably be wooed to California with the promise of an In N Out Burger (wink)!

But a bitch will have to check with Brother Rob on my qualifications to perform weddings through the United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks. The Church (wink) is based in Missouri and they banned same-sex marriage here in 2004, so no member of the flock of bitchitude has ever requested that a bitch marry them.

Pause…consider…continue.

Will I have to wear one of those pointed pontifical crown-like things? Because that shit would seriously fuck up a bitch’s Afro…big time!

Ummm yeah, we’ll just skip the crown-like thing and bedazzle up some robes instead.

Fantabulous!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Finally!

Let’s jump right on in, shall we?

It feels like I’ve been waiting for this moment forever and a day!

But finally…after what must have been years of waiting and being frustrated and listening to verbal dancing…FINALLY, I heard the declaration I wanted to hear.

Pause…sip ice water…continue.

Joey B. (Senator Joe Biden to all y’all…we’re tight like that) called Scooter B.’s comments about Democrats appeasing terrorist “bullshit.”

What, you thought a bitch was talking about something else…mayhap a certain endorsement made yesterday? Yeah, like you didn’t see that one coming a mile away!

No, I’m talking about calling bullshit bullshit. As my father often said if it looks like it and smells like it call it what it is! Well Biden made his declaration off of the Senate floor. “This is bullshit. This is malarkey. This is outrageous. Outrageous for the president of the United States to go to a foreign country, sit in the Knesset…and make this kind of ridiculous statement.”

He went on to add…“He’s the guy who’s weakened us. He’s the guy that’s increased the number of terrorists in the world. His policies have produced this vulnerability the United States has. His intelligence community pointed that out not me. The NIE has pointed that out and what are you talking about, is he going to fire Condi Rice? Condi Rice has talked about the need to sit down. So his first two appeasers are Rice and Gates. I hope he comes home and does something.”

Oh Joey, look at you speaking the damned truth! That shit sounds like a foreign language after so many years of…well, bullshit.

Blink.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The situation to your right...

A bitch spent my evening catching up on the paperwork/spreadsheet side of one of my volunteer commitments so I had to pass on my usual primary watching mini-party.

Sigh.

But that shit was over last week....hell, last month if the exit polls are accurate. A certain Wendi just sent this bitch this link. Polling indicates that both Dems could beat McCain. Interesting, but the polling on that topic has been all over the place since McCain reached his Presumptive Nomineeship. I honestly think political polls were invented to give pundits something to talk about.

Anyhoo, Brother Rob and this bitch did talk politics last night…but not Democratic politics. Rather, we discussed the Ron Paul situation on the Republican side.

Blink.

C’mon, don’t tell me you forgot about Ron!

Don’t sleep, Republican voters are still pulling the lever for Ron Paul and Mike Huckabee. According to ABC news, 25 percent of primary voters chose someone other than McCain in recent contests.

Mayhap Ron Paul supporters plan to stir some shit up in Minny.

Hmmm.

This bitch plans to watch the Republican festival anyway.

There’s no way in hell my ass would miss watching the RNC try to launch McCain through the clusterfuck that is Scooter B.’s legacy.

Shit, it may not be appointment viewage but it’ll be TiVo worthy for sure…

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

A bitch is coming to San Francisco!

This bitch will be visiting San Francisco to participate in the BlogHer ’08 Conference July 18 through July 20!

Yay!

I will be on the What We Believe: How To Take Names and Be Taken Seriously as a Political Blogger panel with Morra Aarons-Mele, and Mona Gable.

I hope to see some of y’all there in a few months!

By request, friends don’t let friends award honorary degrees to Phyllis Schalfly…

Washington University will be handing over an honorary degree to Phyllis fucking Schlafly.

What the fuck are you thinking, people?

Of all the freaks in the world to honor you pick this one?!?

Pause...consider...continue.

Hold up and wait a minute!

There may be an opportunity for Wash. U. to get out of this and just look like a bunch of assholes.

See, a bitch is pretty sure Phyllis is against universities.

Blink.

What?

I’m serious!

The woman is about as anti-intellectual you can get…personally, a bitch thinks she’s worthy of reclassification as an Australopithecine but that’s for another post.

Anyhoo, odds are that sanctimonious throw-back will decline the honorary degree.

Come to think of it, I can’t think of an angle she could use to justify accepting it!

Wash. U. offers a domestic partner benefit program. Lawd knows Schlafly is seriously allergic to equality in the workplace. Accepting an honorary degree from a university that extends benefits to same-sex partners may throw her rancid ass into some sort of equality shock!

Wash. U. employs women.

What?

Given her history that alone should kill the deal.

And Wash. U. has a Women and Gender studies program too. Unacceptable in the Land of Schlafly!

Last but not least…

Wash. U. has an Anthropology program…pause to increase the drama…and they teach the chil’ren about EVOLUTION there (gasp)!

Mmmhmm, the only way Phyllis Schlafly can accept an honorary degree from Wash. U. is if she’s a complete hypocritical fraud who promotes hate for personal gain and not out of misplaced moral conviction.

So...has she turned it down yet?

***cue crickets***

Monday, May 12, 2008

Thoughts from the Missouri Democratic Convention or sausage making in progress – viewer discretion advised…

This bitch was invited to tag along with an at-large delegate candidate to be named later (ALDCtbNL) down to Columbia for the 2008 Missouri Democratic Convention. I was beyond tired after a busy week but too curious to pass that opportunity to observe up…plus the ALDCtbNL is one of the few people in the world a bitch would wake up at 6 o’clock in the morning on a Saturday for (wince).

Anyhoo, we drove towards Columbia and paused to grab a yummified breakfast at the Country Pride restaurant in SmallTownVille Missouri. As we chatted about all things political and presidential I couldn’t help but observe that the people in the restaurant were pretty representative of the diversity that is Missouri. There were older and younger people, gay and straight, various races and gender diversity as well…all gathered to catch all we could eat for $7.49.

I filed that away in my mind and we were off again.

We arrived at the Holiday Inn Select in Columbia, collected our stuff and walked on in. I knew a few folks there…hello Blue Girl Red State and all y’all Show Me Progress folks!!...and was pleased to see that the place was packed.

But then…well, ummm…yeah.

Observation #1…
Despite the fact that we live in a world where we can communicate instantly, merge files from one machine to another and send out information to hundreds of people at one time…sigh…there were multiple lists of at-large delegate candidates each containing different names and no master list to be found for clarification.

We went from one registration table (name not listed) to another (name listed) to a nice looking woman with a clip board and a smile (name listed but not as having filled out the proper form) only to be sent back the first table (name still not listed there) and told to find our Congressional District table-based area and start over.

Lawd, have mercy!

Observation #2…
Not once were the issues discussed or debated.

Blink.

Oh people made speeches about issues, but it was as if everyone in the room agreed on everything…and we all know that ain’t the case. When I thumbed through the program book I found that it was also devoid of policy statements.

I understand that the nominee will set the agenda and, to a large extent, determine policy…but this bitch can’t help but wonder why Missouri delegates to the convention wouldn’t want to discuss Missouri’s specific take on the issues so they could take that information to Denver and…

…oh fuck it twice then shred.

Observation #3…
If a random Missouri voter…for example, this bitch (wink)…walked in and tried to use the 2008 convention as a tool to better understand what Missouri Dems are up to they’d be confused as a motherfucker. And Lawd help them if they try to jump in and participate!

When we walked out the door they had over one hundred one-minute speeches remaining to get through.

And if that doesn’t bring a pain to your Afro then you’re a better bitch than I am.

In conclusion…
My mind went back to the folks at the Country Pride restaurant…and then I thought about all the V.I.P. name tags I saw in that convention hall...and I can’t help but feel that my ass would be better represented by the folks at the buffet table than the folks who are probably still making speeches in Columbia.

Sigh.

It was enough to put me off sausage for at least a week...

Protect the vote in Missouri!

This bitch was in Columbia over the weekend for the Missouri Democratic Convention.

I’ll get to that in a bit, but I wanted to bring to everyone's attention the fact that the same fucked up from the floor up Voter ID drama that resulted in nuns being denied the vote in Indiana is on the table here in Missouri.

The Missouri House passed a measure (shame, shame and more shame!!) that would require proof of citizenship through photo identification and Senators are meeting today to see if there is anyway to reach a compromise.

The vote is our power and that is why those who seek to silence the people seek to suppress the vote. This isn't about protecting the vote from outside forces...this is about protecting those in power from the vote!

The Missouri Supreme Court has stated that there are no known instances of people trying to impersonate voters at the ballot booth. So Republicans who argue that there is a perception of voter fraud are full of shit.

I’m a Missourian and the only sinister force I fear is attempting to highjack elections here is the Missouri Republican Party!

Please, please, please take a moment and call your Missouri State Senator and tell them to protect the vote by killing this measure. If you don’t have their contact information simply click here and type your zip code in where it says Legislator Lookup.

Lawd, it’s a sad day in Missouri when the people have to have their rights protected from the Senate…

Blink.

Friday, May 09, 2008

As purple is to lavender…

A certain Jaime sent this bitch an e-mail asking whether I believe that Senator Clinton’s run for the Democratic nomination has produced a split feminism.

Blink.

Great question and a nice segue into a topic this bitch has been agonizing about since WAM! 2008, so double thanks to you Jaime (wink).

Shall we?

A bitch has written and re-written this post so many times that I’m embarrassed to call out the number. I have come to the realization that my ass just needs to keep it real and not worry about style.

So, for better and hopefully not for worse, here’s where I’m at.

Senator Clinton’s run for the Democratic nomination has not produced a split in feminism. It just flushed away a lot of that tolerance bullshit and exposed a rift that’s been there since way back in the day.

This bitch just watched Iron Jawed Angels again and found myself screaming at the television set because it ended in a ‘go forth, sister, and be inspired by what these brave women did for you’ GreatBigHappyFuckingEnding after only a token acknowledgement of the deliberate cave by leaders of the Suffrage Movement to southern bigotry that left women of color on the curb for another 40 years!

But then I remembered my blood pressure and had to go to my calm happy place.

Shit.

Anyhoo, this rift ain’t new and it is layered with issues of class, race, orientation and identity that all play a role in our goals and tactics. The reason it may seem new is because we haven’t had a happening that demanded an unavoidable examination of our values and our goals in some time.

As my beloved father used to say, you don’t have to do anything but stay brown and eventually die. This is about what we choose to do and why we make the choices we make.

In that spirit, here’s my choice - this bitch ain’t going anywhere anytime soon.

I honor the decisions of those WOC who have decided to step back or stop blogging. This shit ain’t easy and it can be frustrating as hell. I hope they will return to add their voices to the chorus…but I understand if they don’t.

Pause…consider…continue.

As some of you know a bitch is not a fan of the school of tolerance and I blame a lot of this current drama on it.

We all need to do some inner work and ask ourselves some serious questions.

How do I define feminism?

Do I consider myself a part of the feminist movement?

Do I consider myself womanist?

Why do I consider myself a part of this movement?

What do I mean by the word oppression?

What do I mean by the word privilege?

What do I mean by the word progressive?

Am I keeping shit real and calling out those on the left for shit I would mercilessly correct had it come from the right?

Am I committed to social justice and do my actions reflect that commitment?

Only after we know ourselves can we be a part of something that will educate others and change the world for the better. Otherwise our unexamined drama will surface and define not just who we are but also what the movement is.

This isn’t a call for everyone to gather ‘round a campfire, feast on S’Mores and Come On Get Happy.

This is about keeping shit real…

…and a little something I like to call respect.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

A toast from this hard-working American…

It’s 11pmish in The House of Bitchitude.

C-Money has logged on to do some more work and this bitch is still working too.

Pause…yawn…continue.

At some point my brain registered the follow quote from Senator Clinton citing an AP poll in an interview with USA Today "that found how Senator Obama's support among working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again, and how whites in both states who had not completed college were supporting me."

Blink.

"There's a pattern emerging here," Clinton added.

Oh honey, that pattern has emerged…it is out of the closet and leading the parade!

For the record, this hard working American is tired as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.

The sad thing is I can’t even be insulted because I’ve lost respect for this woman, her candidacy and the entire Clinton legacy.

This shit is just pathetic and embarrassing to those of us who wasted our loyalty in response to what has been revealed to be a clever two-term pander to secure our lesser than equal and not quite desirable yet somehow still capable of making the difference between Clinton/Gore and Dole/Kemp black votes.

Yeah, I voted for her husband…twice.

Clearly I played myself…twice (wince).

But oh honey child the lesson has been learned…big time.

So I lift this vodka cran in a toast to the most amazing free fall from inspiring politician to complete gaping asshole of my lifetime.

You’ve come a long way baby will forever have new meaning…

McCain in the news...

Senator McCain promises to fight evil if he is elected President of the United States of America.

Blink.

Specifically he would fight religious persecution, human trafficking, child pornography and other unspecified evil.

Blink once again.

I don’t know about y’all, but this really got my speculation juices flowing. Not that the world won’t benefit from a serious effort to end human trafficking, religious persecution and child exploitation…because it would and it sure as shit should…but that bit about going to battle against unspecified general evil worries the hell out of this bitch.

One person’s evil is another person’s basic human right.

Proof that McCain’s definition of evil is probably not the same as a bitch’s definition can be found in his recent speeches, where he's been pandering to social conservatives with pledges that he’s on board with the same fucked up from the floor up good versus evil bullshit that got America into our current state of absolute fubar.

A bitch suspects that he’s trying to balance out his ‘I’ll appoint strict constructionist conservative judges’ overt anti-choice coded promise with some compassionate conservative meets ‘I’m trying to make the world a better place by remaking it in my image’ bullshit.

And with the addition of the word ‘evil’ McCain added yet piece of the Bush uniform to his wardrobe.

At this rate he’ll be mouthing off about hunting down the "evil doers" who hate our freedom and despise our traditional values over in [insert country/region next in line for a clusterfuck] so that we won’t have to fight them here just in time for the Republican invasion of Minneapolis in September.

Lawd have mercy…

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Wrap-up...

Happy Wednesday, people!

Shall we?

Last night this bitch moderated a debate between my Voter Education students and I now have a new appreciation for folks who moderate debates (wince). Things got rough a few times but settled down after everyone was trash talked out.

Background for the uninitiated – a bitch volunteers at several local women’s shelters to teach Voter Education classes. My classes address why people should vote and what government is supposed to do. They are built on my belief that an educated voter is a lifelong voter with a curriculum that combines the United States Citizenship test with a healthy dose of realness.

We gathered in the break room and the young women quickly took up sides. Each side made their opening statement then I asked questions with each participant being allowed to debate that shit until I moved on to the next question.

KLW (18 years old, mother to a beautiful newborn wee one with tons of hair and annoyed at the gas tax debate because she can’t afford a car right now and doesn’t see how what little savings it will provide will help her) made the case that the gas tax debate isn’t the energy debate she needs to hear. She pointed out that a recent network news report featured working families in Minneapolis-St. Paul (birthplace of this bitch, by the way!!) who were unable to pay their electric bill due to the high cost of all things energy related and asked how the gas tax break would help those people.

TDK, arguing for the other side, asked that we all go to the window and observe her new car. Umm, well it isn’t exactly new but it’s new to her. She put $150 down on a $500 car so that she would have transportation to school, daycare when her baby is born and work. TDK said that she is unable to afford gas for the car and has resorted to offering it up to the other residents of the shelter as a community car. Everyone who contributes can tag along for trips to the market, school or wherever they may need to go. TDK argued that a break in the price of gas may be the difference between having transportation and having when I can afford to turn it the hell on transportation…and that would make the difference between taking a job for more money that isn’t on the bus line or taking the job she can get that is on the line.

KLW countered that the gas tax break wouldn’t amount to enough of a savings to make that possible. Only a comprehensive energy plan would impact prices and even that wouldn’t happen overnight. She asked TDK what she planned to do when she moved out of the shelter on her own…how she would deal with the high price of electricity, gas for her car and groceries and all the other things that are necessary things being priced as luxury items.

TDK fumbled and then tossed back that Americans need relief now while all these plans are being worked out.

KLW returned that the gas tax break was the equivalent of someone buying a $500 paper fan on credit when the air conditioner breaks on a hot summer day, not calling the repairman and leaving the windows closed.

Blink.

And so that debate was over.

The healthcare debate was less contentious. MSD and Lady B agreed that healthcare was in need of a major overhaul. Lady B. started out in favor of mandates but MSD made strong arguments that undefined mandates were insulting and dangerous. Her point was that any plan that includes mandates should include how they would be enforced, what the penalty would be and by what agency.

“A mandate without enforcement is a suggestion.”

Nice.

Since no one felt like arguing with that, we retired to the television room (a corner of the break room) for post-debate pudding pops and primary speculation.

Note – a bitch thinks all debates should wrap-up with chocolate pudding pops…yum!

Anyhoo, there is nothing like the satisfaction of watching my students develop their own opinions about policy. When I left they were kicking into a debate over winner takes all primaries versus proportional delegate formulas.

Fantabulous!

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Flying: Confessions of a Free Woman…

A bitch is addicted to Doc Day on the Sundance Channel.

I love it!

Every Monday they show documentary films and they usually debut one on Monday nights.

Did I mention that I love Doc Day?

Anyhoo, a certain someone sent this bitch an e-mail with a heads-up about a documentary series airing on Sundance that I probably should have told you about yesterday but…well, a bitch is busy and you chil’ren know how to use the internets.

Flying: Confessions of a Free Woman is a 6 part series that investigates the issues that women face throughout the word today: balancing work and family, abortion, infertility and IVF, sexual abuse, Female Genital Mutilation, sex-trafficking and self-determination among many other issues.

A bitch caught episodes 1 and 2 and I am hooked! Jennifer Fox is the subject/narrator/director/creative force behind this fascinating exploration of life. The first 2 episodes were strangely foreign and I didn’t expect them to be. My life is so removed from Fox’s life that I found myself not relating to her…but then I was dragged back because she’s just so fascinating.

Fox (in her early 40’s) agonizes of whether to have a baby and then says that if she were ever to have a baby she’d have to confront her ambivalence towards motherhood. A bitch isn’t a parent…unless you count my sorta-beagles…so I’m confused as hell by this. Does Fox want to have a baby but not be a parent? ‘Cause that’s do-able. Or is she scared that having a baby will change her, which is a different thing altogether?

See, that’s the kind of shit that is layered in on top of Fox’s relationship with a married lover and relationship with another lover she doesn’t love...her friends and their perspective and input...and the folks she works with all over the world.

Fascinating!

Anyhoo, a bitch plans to watch the rest of the series…I’m pretty sure I’d break out into hives if I missed it, I’m so anxious to know what the hell happens…and the nice folks at Zohe Films are offering all y’all a 15% discount on all DVD orders of the film.

Yay!

Just visit the store here, select the DVD and enter the coupon code - AFLYNPO15.

Viva la documentary!

Fubardemocratus - The Saga Continueth...

Lawd, have mercy!

If it’s Tuesday then there must be another Democratic Primary.

Shit, if the radio starts playing Sonny and Cher a bitch will be living in the movie Groundhog Day (wince).

Anyhoo, this bitch shall share a Primary Day dinner with my Voter Education students…so at least this shit will be interesting. Newish readers should know that this bitch volunteers as a Voter Education teacher at local women’s shelters.

My students have already requested that I moderate a debate after dinner and before the results come in.

I’m so proud! Shit, I’d cry if I were wearing waterproof mascara.

Blink.

Their topics of choice are the gas tax and healthcare.

Pause…rub hands together in gleeful anticipation…continue.

KLW requested the gas tax. She has been at the shelter for several months, is 18 years old and has a beautiful newborn wee one with tons of hair. KLW is annoyed at the gas tax debate because she can’t afford a car right now and doesn’t see how what little savings it will provide will help her. She’d rather hear a plan to control the price of gas because she feels it is driving up the price of milk and other food items.

“When you live paycheck to paycheck and the stuff you need go up it makes the difference between making it and not making it.” KLW

Miss Thang will face off against her favorite debate foe, TDK…who has a car and a strong opinion on this matter.

MSD requested healthcare. She is new to the shelter and is expecting her first child in three months. MSD is 19 years old and feels that everyone should have healthcare. She doesn’t like the idea of mandates because she feels it would be a burden on the working poor universal healthcare should be helping out.

Miss D will face off against the formidable Lady B…who is all for universal healthcare with mandates and will “school” anyone who says different.

Dinner prepared by someone else…two topical debates between my students…and all the grape Kool-Aid I can drink.

Fantabulous!

Monday, May 05, 2008

Remembering Mrs. Loving…

Mildred Loving has died at the age of 68.

You may not know her by name and sadly a lot of people don’t know her through American history either.

Mildred Loving married her husband Richard in 1958 in Washington. They were both Virginians. She was black and Richard was white. When they returned home to Virginia they were arrested for "cohabiting as man and wife, against the peace and dignity of the Commonwealth” and only avoided jail by agreeing to leave Virginia.

They didn’t move back to Virginia until after 1967 when the Supreme Court ruled that people from different races had the right to marry.

Think about that...Mildred and Richard Loving were arrested in 1958 because a black woman and a white man could not legally be married in Virginia and that law wasn’t struck down until 1967.

And that landmark ruling struck down laws banning racially diverse marriages in 17 states.

17.

It should be hard to believe that so many states claimed to protected the sanctity of traditional marriage by restricting based on race under threat of arrest.

Should be, but…

Sigh.

May she rest in peace and may family and friends find comfort in the memory of her life...

Friday, May 02, 2008

A bitch has achieved AfroPuff-dom!

Happy, happy, happy followed by joy, joy and more joy!

This bitch was fucking around with my Afro this morning trying to do something different and decided to see if I have enough length to achieve a respectable puff and I did!
Just a single puff in the back, but you've got to start somewhere.

Watch out world, because a bitch will be sporting the two puff style I rocked hard when I was a wee bitch by the fall…

Thursday, May 01, 2008

A bitchfirmation for Jeffrey, who is all that and a bowl of chocolate gelato…

I am endeavoring, ma'am, to construct a mnemonic circuit using stone knives and bearskins.
Spock in 'City on the Edge of Forever'

Some people are given ridiculous obstacles and get the job done.

Fantabulous people do that shit with style.

Go on with your fantabulous self, Jeffrey!